he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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