i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
