Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
