just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
