I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
