My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
