hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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