Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize