I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Randomize
