Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
