question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
BRING THE BAGELS
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
