i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
