You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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