Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
