I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
