brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
