If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
