I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
