This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
