I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
