STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
