Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
