this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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