Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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