You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
