it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
