Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
