if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
