yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
