all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
