I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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