I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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