She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
