Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
