In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
