How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
