So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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