I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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