I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
