I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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