They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just invented taco cereal.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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