How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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