I cannot find my penis.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
