Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
