Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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