He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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