i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
