Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
