i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
