Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
