Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
